El Chappo cuts a deal with the Feds

Funny story written by Chrisser

Wednesday, 6 February 2019

Lawyers for Joaquin "El Cappo" Guzman (in a surprise move) are seeking to finalize a plea deal agreement with Federal prosecutors on behalf of Joaquin "El Chappo".

After viewing tonight's State of the Union address, El Cappo Guzman admitted to his lawyers that he was technically in this country illegally and being repentant to his crime and current position in New York, he will voluntarily seek to be returned to his home country of Mexico at the very first opportunity.

After hearing President Trump complain about the need to stop illegals from entering this country, El Chappo is feeling very contrite and remorseful. He related to the New Your Daily Republican media outlet, that he hopes that his immediate return would help score points for the president and his proposed wall building that will prevent his 5ft 5in frame from being able to jump over the 13 high foot wall if ever had the chance.

In a private letter to the president, El Chappo apologized and states he misunderstood were the border lines drawn in the sand that were blown away in a soft desert breeze. His mistake he says was due to the wind blowing and covering up the line in the sands,

Mer. Guzman states that he is ready to leave immediately and therefore cancel any further discomfort the jury may have had sitting in those hard leather jury box chairs and will donate his various jailhouse properties to those other less fortunate and incarcerated inmates.

The White House was unable to comment as the post-speech party given in the private quarters starring the group Los Lobo's and special guest singing star Maria Fernanda Romero Martinez.

The evening was topped off with Los Lobos rendition of "Tequilla Makes Her Clothes Come Off" to which the president took it upon himself to pass out tequila shooters to all the women present. The party was just getting going when the Secret Service bodily removed all male partygoers leaving the President alone being the ever congenial host and continued to pass out large trays of double tequila shooters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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