Written by Dan Barash

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

image for America Attempts to Return Bush for Refund, but Cannot Produce Receipt
In the market for a slighty used president?

Although the vast majority of Americans would like to return President Bush and get their money back, they are hampered by the lack of a receipt. The latest Newsweek poll shows a paltry 30% of Americans believe Bush is doing a good job as President. This is precisely the same number that believes in the Easter bunny.

Americans were initially told they could not return Bush because they had foolishly voided the warranty by electing him a second time. This was appealed to a supervisor who said Bush could only be returned if he had done something incredibly foolish, like "starting an unnecessary war and then botching it".

The supervisor finally agreed Bush could be returned, and offered Vice President Cheney in exchange. At this point the American people became very agitated and threatened to start voting for Democrats.

Fortunately the store manager intervened and he was sympathetic to the Americans' plight. "Six years with a defective product is a mighty long time," he admitted.

A receipt is required to get a full refund, however, and the American people can't find the darn thing.

"I voted for Bush twice," said Joe Smythe of Dallas, "and I never thought to ask for a receipt. Now I feel like a damn fool."

The American people ask that anybody who finds the receipt contact them immediately. A generous reward is offered to the finder, and he may even get elected president.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: George W. Bush

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