Kevin McCarthy Rolls Eyes Behind Trump

Written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 6 January 2019

image for Kevin McCarthy Rolls Eyes Behind Trump
"I quit! Where's the Appalachian Trail?"

Fox news isn’t talking about it, but the free press has been directing the viewers’ eye toward people standing behind Trump while Trump is giving one of his rambling, incoherent, pointless, monologues, with freebies thrown in, like: "lots of people are telling me," or "Obama never did anything," or "Obama did it too," or "I’ve been contacted by lots of heads of state," or "Mexico is going to pay for the wall," in an attempt to fraudulently create support for his baseless proclamations, however, get a load of people standing in back of Trump while he's spreading out his ratatouille.

The Republican Minority Leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, almost rolled his eyes out of his head, when Trump announced that, “the Shutdown could last forever."

Adding, “Lots of people keep telling me to,” (forgive the visual picture) “stick it out until the Democrats fund my wall.”

Then, McCarthy tugged at his hair as though trying to pull out a chunk and plant it on top of Trump's nest, transferring some brain power into Trump's skull.

Also standing behind Trump, with a sniffing smirk and shifty eyes, was Minority Whip of the House, Steve Scalise. Did he smell something bad, or was he looking for his whip to shut down Trump?

Trump continued, “I’ve talked to Putin, a really strong, strong, smart, smart leader - not like Obama - and Kim Jong-un and Erdogan, both a couple of good, good guys and the three agree with my concrete border wall…”

McCarthy squirmed as though he needed a bathroom break, eyes rolling again, face twitching uncontrollably. The puzzled cloud above his head read: Did Trump just commit treason by denouncing a former president of the United States and support our historical adversaries in front of the entire press corps?

The Trump censor monitor used to be former Chief of Staff General John Kelly, but he was given early retirement and was last seen dancing in the nude along the Appalachian Trail.

Kelly’s replacement, Mick Mulvaney, has already lost half of his hair and is trying to obscure the loss by combing in bangs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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