Written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 1 November 2018

image for Trump To Visit Military Troops At Border
"THIS ISN'T THE MEXICAN BORDER."

In a last-ditch effort to retain the House and Senate, Trump plans to visit the 15,000 US soldiers stationed at the Mexican border and wear a military uniform. Forget the MAGA cap, red tie, and fat man's overcoat; he will wear the General MacArthur crushed cap, Ban Ray sunglasses, the pipe, a General Eisenhower battle jacket, General Patton puffy riding breeches, knee-high boots and carry a Mussolini dressage crop.

“Is he delusional?”

“No. That’s Trump.”

His team figures it’ll be a great morale booster for the troops, and present a symbolic photo opportunity, recalling the historical photographs of Churchill and Roosevelt visiting the forces during WWII.

The headlines will read, “Trump’s protection of the women and daughters of the United States and the world from the second enemy of the people: The advancing caravan from Central America. The caravan is invading our soil with murderers, thugs, tax evaders, rapists, Taliban, Muslim Brotherhood, Isis, Robert de Nero, smallpox, leprosy, tuberculosis, Ebola, and sick people.”

For additional photos, Trump can eat an MRE with the troops, while sitting next to a military tank, and more photographs standing at the border with field glasses in hand, searching for the advancing caravan.

“Sir, the caravan hasn’t moved into Mexico yet.”

“You want to be headed for Syria like yesterday?”

There was also talk of covering Air Force One with camouflage, but Air Force One said, “NO.”

The only person, place or thing that Trump will listen to is Air Force One.

Before departing on Air Force One back to Mar-a-Lago, Trump will address the troops, giving them a pep talk, but instead, go off script, rant about crooked Hillary, crazy Bernie, lying Ted, remind the forces that Obama is marching in the caravan, “He has a very low IQ. Everybody is saying this. An absolute, truly slow person. He could never stay on message because he’s always thinking of yesterday’s dinner at a French restaurant with Romney. And those frogs were still jumping all over the place. They must be fried with lots of purple garlic. And vote the Republican ticket. Wheels up.”

“OKAY.”

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: General Patton




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