A Requiem For Muttley

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 14 June 2018

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BILLINGSGATE POST: This story will make dog lovers cry. Those old enough might remember the movie classic, "Lassie Come Home," which starred then youngsters, Roddy McDowall and Elizabeth Taylor and Lassie. It was a tear jerker story about a poor boy's dog, who when sold to a rich man, makes an arduous journey back to her original owner. The movie was nominated for an Oscar, but failed to win because Hollywood was then under the control of the Communist Party, and Josef Stalin didn't like dogs because they were considered bourgeois accoutrements.

Anyway, in addition to Lassie getting screwed because of the Commie pinkos distaste for dogs, poor Muttley also got the short end of the bone for his role in "Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machine." As part of the "Vulture Squad" with Zilly and Klunk, Muttley and his crew's mission was to stop the pernicious renegade, Yankee Doodle Pigeon. Under his boss, Dick Dastardly, Muttley always demanded a medal for following his dimwitted leader's battle plans. Muttley was known for his distinctive passive-aggressive attitude. His classic "yeah, yeah, yeah!" response to any order became recognized by Harvard Business School as the proper way to answer a superior's suggestion. Muttley was also recognized for his laugh and curses. If anyone is interested in hearing these, I suggest they download these classics at: www.hotink.com/wacky/dastrdly.

Reflective devotees may wonder why I am so involved in the injustices done to these fine dogs. My answer is that, if not me, who else would engage the pinkos in this fight for recognizing the deeds of man's best friend? Have you ever seen a dog in North Korea? How about China, where they will only allow one dog and one child per family? Or Russia, where dogs are considered (MNE) Man's Natural Enemy. Of course, the common denominator is that Kim Jung, Josef Stalin and Mao Zedong were all of the same pinko Bolshevik ilk; dog lovers not.

NOTE: Billingsgate would like to acknowledge that some of this information came from the
J Edgar Hoover autobiography, “Why I Wore My Granny’s Boa For The FBI.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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