How much will Donald Trump, or his good friend and attorney, Michael Cohen, pay to quash the Donald Trump, Miss Universe, Moscow, Ritz-Carlton, Le Pee Pee video? Cohen was quoted saying: He'd jump out a window for Trump.
“Huh?” Cohen asked, recently changing his mind, mumbling: That window's getting too close. Make it a house mortgage. I have the porch swing, a two car garage, barbecue, it's detached, no flamingos on the lawn...
Well then, let’s begin with a Geoffrey Rush type auctioneer from the film, The Best Offer. The auctioneer starting off the bidding for Le Pee Pee video at $10 million.
“Whoa!” said Mr. Cohen, a new man after having his hotel, office, home and safe deposit boxes raided by the FBI. The now gentle, soft spoken Mr. Cohen argued, that there was no way to get a $10 million mortgage for his house.
The fastidious auctioneer, suggested, that since Mr. Donald Trump, claimed to be a billionaire, $10 million would be a mere drop in the bucket. Maybe ten drops. Not as much as left on the Ritz-Carlton mattress, but well worth the price for the original Le Pee Pee video.
Learning of the rumored hush money, ransom payment, deep-six price that would be paid for Le Pee Pee video, hackers through out the world began busily photo-shopping their own version of the video; downloading the presidential suite of the Moscow Ritz-Carlton, (with a view of the Kremlin) hiring seven naked women wearing long, blond, center part Mona Lisa wigs, and a naked Donald Trump look alike.
“Somebody cover up the naked Donald Trump look alike.”
Christopher Steele, former MI6 British agent and author of the dossier which gave birth to the possibility of Le Pee Pee video, has since claimed to have some doubts about the true existence of such a video.
However, Mr. Trump’s body guard, Keith Schiller, answering under oath, testified that an offer of seven women was made at the Ritz, Schiller saying, “No thanks.” Schiller then went to bed in his own hotel room. Alone.
“Let’s begin the bidding at $15 million.”