Late Bloomer Decides to Be a Perennial

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 5 March 2018

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Late bloomer Lily Tower says she's digging her newfound perpetual state of bloom.

After over five decades of underachieving, cowering in corners, and, as she put it, “living life to the emptiest,” 52-year-old Lily Tower has decided that now is her time to blossom – and not just once a year, but in perpetuity.

Lily explains that in the past, she didn't dare shoot for her dreams; she went for the plan B without even trying for the plan A, out of fear that she'd find out that the life she truly desired could remain, at best, but a dream. In fact, says the formerly painfully shy, self-effacing Lily, she wasn't even quite a wallflower.

“Because the term wallflower suggests some sort of blossoming. I was more a smear of moss hiding under a rock.”

But no longer, says Lily. "I may be a late bloomer, but bloom I shall!”

And in that regard, Lily realized, too, that she desired more for herself than to grow for a single season and then die. Instead, Lily – true to her name – posits herself as a perennial.

“Full bloom, full-time, is where I'm at,” summarizes Lily. “I'm digging it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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