Multitude of reporters, journalists and TV personalities send thoughts and prayers

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Saturday, 24 February 2018

Thoughts and prayers have been shared by several high profile TV personalities and journalists in an attempt to prevent any potential future diabolical act of mass violence.

"To the victims of the next tragedy please accept my thoughts and prayers in advance," tweeted popular CNN host Anderson Cooper. Cooper's words were echoed by several others including Ellen Degeneres, Sean Hannity and Don Lemon.

However, scientist Professor Toby Hales from the University of Oxbridge has warned that thoughts and prayers either before or after a tragic event are unlikely to aid in the prevention of atrocities or provide solace to family members of those killed or injured in recent incidents.

"Thoughts and prayers do nothing," said Hales, "they never have and never will. I recommend that anyone contemplating sending out thoughts and prayers try something more practical, such as sacrificing a virgin or kissing the Blarney Stone.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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