Was the Medal of Freedom Awarded to a Presidential Biographer Really Free?

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 16 December 2006

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Author and historian David McCullough has been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but many people are wondering at what price.

Gossip mongers speculate that he made a deal with the devil, assuring Bush he would get a favorable biography in exchange for the medal. Happenings at the recent awards ceremony in the East Room of the White House lend credence to the rumors.

While the other nine recipients of the medal, the nation's highest civilian honor, received a brief handshake from the President, McCullough received more. Much more. Bush not only shook his hand for a long period of time, he squeezed it quite hard, causing McCullough to look like he was about to yelp with pain.

A Spoof spy sitting in the first row reports that, when Bush placed the ribbon bearing the medal over McCullough's head, she was able to lipread what the President whispered in the awardee's ear: "Remember our deal. Bada-bing." McCullough, she reported, looked quite terrified. Later he was heard whining to his wife, "What could I do? It was an offer I couldn't refuse."

McCullough's supporters insist that he won the award on merit alone and there was absolutely NO DEAL to get him the coveted medal. Even they, however, were surprised to learn the title of his planned biography of Bush: "An American Hero: Mission Accomplished."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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