LOS ANGELES, CA --- Harrison Ford, 74, isn't much better a pilot than he was an actor. He proved his lack of aviation skills when, in defiance of an air-traffic controller's order to land on John Wayne Airport's Runway "L," he brought his single-engine Aviat Husky airplane down on the back of an American Airlines jet that was waiting to take off on a nearby taxiway.
His aircraft ran almost the entire length of the jet before coming to a halt atop the airliner, which contained 110 passengers and six crew, all of whom Ford described as "expendable."
Although this is not the actor-cum-pilot's first mishap--in 2015, he took out a golf course green, costing Tiger Woods par for the game underway at the time and he crash-landed during flight training in 1999--the Federal Aviation Agency (FAA) opted to allow Ford to continue to fly. He was not fined, and he was allowed to retain his pilot's license, Number 007, "without restriction." He wasn't even ordered to take a remedial course.
"Anybody who can land an airplane on top of a jet without killing anyone doesn't need remedial training," an FAA spokesperson boasted. "Hell, he ought to be a Top Gun instructor."
Asked for a statement, Ford bragged, "I'm the schmuck who got away with landing his plane on top of a 747."
Passenger Gladys K. Night said, "The bastard scared us to death. The least he could have done was to give me an autograph."
Reportedly, Ford's next feat will be a kamikaze attack on Mount Rushmore. "I'm aiming for Washington's nose. With a target that big, even I can't miss."
