Local Man Admitted to Hospital after Relatives Call Police to Report Strange Behavior

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Thursday, 19 January 2017

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Local Man Admitted to Hospital on Saturday

Washington D.C. - An elderly man was admitted to the psychiatric ward of a local hospital after family members summoned police early Saturday in the 1600th block of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Police reported that the man seemed to be suffering from some kind of delusional episode, in which the entire nation had been completely destroyed by a secretive society which he dubbed "the political and Hollywood elite" helped by "the crooked media", the latter of which he described as "like Nazi Germany", and declaring that he was the "only one who could fix" what he described as "the carnage".

Family members, identified by witnesses only as Eric and Donald Jr., told police that the man has a history of paranoid schizophrenic outbursts, in which he fails to speak in complete sentences but instead mumbles incoherently about wild conspiracy theories and made up stories. Afterwards he has no recollection of the episodes, even when confronted with video and other evidence that he indeed had made the statements.

"He has had delusions about a number of things", said Eric. "He has claimed the Chinese government was behind a massive conspiracy to disprove climate science, that a former U.S. President had secretly founded ISIS, that he could tell the heads of the military how to defeat the terror group, that millions of rapists were crossing the border with Mexico and the only way to keep them out would be a 3000 mile long wall, and that he is worth 10 billion dollars.....it just goes on and on", exclaimed Donald Jr.

"We need to get him well", said Eric. "We and the family will be handling his responsibilities while he is away".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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