Washington DC - Pentagon advisors said today Russian President Vladimir Putin has been in therapy for at least 10 years with former US Secretary of Snake General Colon Bowel.
A statement from the Colonic Irrigation Regiment this morning confirmed that despite months of 12-Step blarney and wholesome recovery crap Vlad's still as 'full of shit' as ever.
In Moscow pals of-ex fellow KGB thug now-turned-Primate of Russia acknowledged the role played by Patriarch Kirill in honing Mr Putin's legendary anal skills.
In 1980 the two men were the USSR's 'Top Gun' fledgeling spooks to be initiated into their birth father Pope Karol Wojtyla's P2 Lodge Brothel in Pyongyang.
Alongside half-brothers George Dubya and Tony the Poodle.
Commenting on the latest in Kremlin laxativology eminent proctologist Prof Einstein Flintstone said 'Shit happens, get over it losers' before committing hare kari in the Pentagon Gents.