Written by Gee Pee

Saturday, 30 August 2014


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BUTT (OR MAYBE IT'S BUTTE?), MONTANA -- Men and women have been baring their butts--and more--in Butte, Montana.

Those making spectacles of themselves include a 20-year-old man, just off the bus from Salt lake City, who claims he is a Christian but, police say, is actually a Mormon.

After getting off a bus, Justin Tyme knelt before a crowd of people, with a large "stick" in hand.

"They say it was a stick," Mary Ann Faithful said, "but it sure looked like a penis to me, and, believe me, having had twelve kids, I know what a penis looks like."

Although police attempted to dress the disrobed man, Tyme refused to wear any "raiment," insisting that God had told him to strip.

Authorities suspect that it was the cocaine and LSD, rather than the Deity, that "told" Tyme to remove his clothing.

On the previous morning, at the same bus stop, a topless woman strutted her stuff in public. The police will neither confirm nor deny that God had instructed the woman to remove her top.

Other incidents of nudity and partial nudity have also been reported in and around town, and authorities are unable to explain the sudden inclination of people to go bare.

"Maybe it really is God who's talking to them," Gertrude Moss proposed, as she surveyed the bus stop from her back porch, through binoculars she recently purchased, she says, "for bird watching."

"If so," her husband Abner, looking through his own pair of binoculars, declared, "I wish he'd talk to a few more of the good-looking women and a few less of the fat and uglies, and, as far as I'm concerned, he needn't speak to the men at all."

"God is no respecter of persons," Gertrude reminded him.

Nor of genders, it seems.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Montana

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