Local Man Finds Spiritual Enlightenment in His Pants

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 17 April 2014

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Brenden Hossenhoffer of Wedgewood City in Ohio thinks that he has been brought down to the bottom so that he could experience true enlightenment just as those before him.

I've studied the great ones like Gandhi and Thoreau and Thomas Merton trying to truly become less, so that I can become more or is it the other way around?

"But you feel you may have achieved a certain level of consciousness that will bring you into a new way of thinking."

Yes. I've studied Martin Luther King, Brother Lawrence and even Harlan Hubbard who lived on a Riverbank most of his life.

Hossenhoffer says that you must just let your mind go free ..but not while you're driving. He said that if he could just feel his inner self rise above all this here down below, except when he came back down on Mrs Hossenhoffer while they were really going at it, it would bring a great breakthrough.

Then this morning he thought he had made the first step to the bottom of the heap and called us.

"And you believe you have now hit the unconscious bottom so you have emptied all rational thought from you?"

Yes. This morning I spent at least four solid hours with my pants on backwards. Only realized it when I hit the kid on top of the head for stealing my billfold and all that time, it was in my back pocket...in front.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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