New Haven, Connecticut - Reports that Skull and Bones Society members masterminded a satanic ring in North Pole, Alaska that recruited and groomed an alleged devil-worshiping Craigslist serial killer have stung dozens of Boners from Yale's Class of '69.
A statement issued today on behalf of the Society's Bush Chapter said that to their certain knowledge the only demonically possessed persons in the frozen State were convicted members of Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club.
The two organizations had a spectacular bust-up over Alaskan oil concessions some time during the eighties and have loathed each other ever since.
Today Boners' lawyers went to court haggling for an injunction to stamp on any link to nineteen year-old alleged satanist Miranda Barbour, 69, arrested for a slew of grisly murders, perhaps totalling as many as 100.
Interestingly, according to her prison blog Ms Barbour has always been a big George W Bush fan ever since the first time she first saw a photo of him in his Skull and Bones ceremonial get-up.
Residents of her 2,200-strong hometown say she regularly campaigned for him in the satanic North Pole stronghold located in the Fairbanks North Star Borough of Alaska.
Dick Cheney's Scientology chaplain may be behind some of the dumb headlines regarding.
