Amazing Discovery in Corpse of Outlaw Jesse James!

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 14 February 2014

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In Kearney, Missouri a few years ago, the body of the person thought to be that of Jesse James the outlaw was dug up and taken to a laboratory to decide for a certainty that that is who the bones belonged to.

After careful testing, the experts stated they had checked the DNA of his descendents and they believed that it truly was Jesse James body.

But then another mystery arose.

The men doing the research asked for more time. Of course they had already stated that it looked as if the man was truly shot and had died from the wound. There was evidence also of drugs that would help kill the pain at the time of his death.

At the time, they had called in others who could pretty well use the skeleton and hair, etc to rebuild the body of how Jesse would have looked.

But that wasn't the biggest concern.

Scientists examining the remains are now telling us that they are "deeply puzzled" by the discovery of a quarter-inch long microchip embedded in the skull they found at the time.

"We waited to ask about this kind of chip and it's not like any other anyone has seen", stated a Dr. Grize. "It took a magnifying glass to discover the chip but we turned it over to an investigating team and that's the last we heard about it."

"We have kept this quiet for several years now and are completely ignored when we ask about the chip. So today, we sent our photos to newspapers around the country showing the place the chip was found, how it looked under a magnifying glass and how it looked under a microscope."

"Now it's time for some word from our government. We waited. You ignored us but we kept an ace in the hole as they stated in Jesse's days."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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