Holy cow! Texas Creationist nut teaching kids about 'Comet Bison'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 22 November 2013

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Latest footage of the comet of the century

Texarse - A Professor of Cosmology at the George W Bush First Creationist Academy of Crawford has warned students about the dangers of stargazing at incoming 'comet of the century' Comet Bison (sic) as it sashays into its Thanksgiving and Hanukkah cakewalk next week.

Rev Jeremiah Herod-Bush, alumnus from the Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls school of recreation, insists Old Testament accounts prove the comet is evil as it originates from the reviled Taurus the Bullshitter constellation responsible for the Old Testament's golden calf.

According to Exodus 32:4 a graven image of the cultish idol was crafted and erected by Aaron to satisfy the Israelites during Moses' absence up Mount Sinai.

The incident caused utter mayhem when Moses got back with God's Tablets to witness all his followers paying homage to a 'glittery cow' spawned by the comet's passing.

"Like Lot's wife turning into a pillow of sort - uh, pillar of salt! " Herod-Bush commented, "you too will screw up with all this Comet Bison sh*t."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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