Vatican buys Boy Scouts of America! Walmart buys NBC, CBS, & ABC News!

Written by b kenneth mcgee

Monday, 12 August 2013

Citizens of the US were shocked and dismayed this morning when news of the sale of the country's three major TV networks were reported sold to a corporate giant.

As rumours flew in the media industry of TV anchor replacements and format changes, many of the nation's most famous news people were apparently out of work with ABC news anchor Diane Sawyer being replaced by the great granddaughter of Tokyo Rose and Chris Matthews of MSNBC being replaced by Glenn Beck. Walmart has stated that most of the media operations will be outsourced to China,India,and Pakistan.

In late breaking news The Associated Press is reporting that negotiations are currently underway between Rupert Murdoch and the Little Sisters of the Poor for the sale of The Wall Street Journal and with a group headed by the Reverend Al Sharpton and the NAACP for the acquisition of Fox News. An anonymous source within the Murdoch organization has told the AP that Murdoch is currently meeting with the Dalai Lama to discuss further acquisitions.

The greatest reaction of most Americans however, came at the announcement by the Vatican that it had purchased the Boy Scouts of America. A Gallup survey noted that 89 per cent of the US public was against the sale. When Pope Francis was asked about the overwhelming reaction of most Americans, the Vatican Journal states he replied, "So what's the big deal? It's like the Yankees buying a new farm club. It's the American way, dude!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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