"We're Not Listening to Your Phone Conversations, Idiots!"

Funny story written by G. Brookings

Saturday, 8 June 2013

image for "We're Not Listening to Your Phone Conversations, Idiots!"
Looking for Terrorists

Obama administration spokesperson, Jay Carney, sent this tweet from the White House to all of his followers on Twitter, signaling his own and the Administration's weariness with the waves of unwarranted criticism it has experienced in recent weeks over a variety of so-called scandals.

Later, he explained the tweet as the product of a moment of unguarded frustration with the liberal press that had formerly been so understanding.

First of all, he continued, it would be literally impossible to listen to millions of phone calls, and, second, no one in their right mind would want to listen to the stuff that passes for conversation these days. But the press -- possibly agitated by searches of their own telephone records and the naming of a reporter as a co-conspirator in an espionage case -- was not accepting the "there's no there argument" that the administration has used so effectively to date. Some persisted in demanding answers.

"OK, terrorism," Carney offered, using the one word answer to silence everyone in the briefing room. "Next question."

One intrepid reporter who now claims that his hard disk, his paper files and even his colon have been thoroughly searched and the contents catalogued, unwisely challenged administration officials to take the lead in demonstrating how harmless this process is by releasing their own phone records.

"Transparency applies only to the records of average people, not to people whose conversations actually matter," Carney countered, making a note of the reporter's name and affiliation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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