Written by Evan Essence

Monday, 25 September 2006

image for Large Numbers of Brain-Dead Voters Found on Voting Logs in 'Red States'

New allegations of voter fraud have surfaced in so-called ‘Red States", which voted heavily for George Bush in the 2004 election. Dubbed the "Schiavo Factor' by the media, the mystery revolves around investigations into how thousands of clinically brain-dead voters, living in nursing homes, in Ohio and Florida, could have cast their votes in the 2004 presidential election, giving George Bush his winning margin of victory.

The unresolved question remains, as to how thousands of brain-dead citizens, whose signatures appear in the voting logs, could have found their way to the polls, and how they could have managed to learn to use the new electronic voting machines, to cast their votes, if they were in a comatose state.

Allegations of voter fraud, and manipulation of the election, by the Republican Party, persist, even though the Republicans have consistently tried to repudiate these allegations.

Some commentators have questioned the rhetoric that Bush used to motivate these brain-dead voters to go to the polls.

Harvard professor of political science, Barney Hampton, observed that "George Bush has geared most of his political philosophy and commentary to appeal to people at his own intellctual level."

Many commentators are suggesting that George Bush's sanctimonious weeping over the comatose body of Terri Schiavo, may have been nothing more than a ploy to appeal to the intellects of brain-dead voters. Others are suggesting that Bush's argument that the slaughtering of 100,000 innocent Iraqi civilians, in bombing raids, was justified, because Iraq had Weapons of Mass Destruction….was largely geared to appeal to the 'thinking' of brain-dead voters.

Many are wondering how these voters.....most of whom are registered Republicans....could have chosen to vote for George W. Bush, who claims to be a Christian and a "compassionate conservative", yet has been a steadfast proponent of torturing people without recourse to a trial, and who lies insidiuosly about his reasons for obliterating the lives of 100,000 innocent Iraqi's in Haliburton's quest to control Iraq's oilfields.

Others are wondering, how people who call themselves 'life-long conservatives' would re-elect someone who has violated all of the most cherished values of conservatives, by drastically increasing the size of the Federal Government, setting record levels of spending, and violating the Constitution by covertly initiating a massive 'Big Brother' program of total surveillance of all US citizens.

"There is no way we can undo the election of 2004, at this time" Professor Hampton remarked. "However, unless the entire population of the country is in a comatose state, we should see the Democrats take control of both houses of Congress in the November election."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Brain, Fraud

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