Man Takes Every Medication Advertised on the Evening News

Funny story written by Ducksley

Friday, 29 March 2013

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Wink Packard spends most of his time watching television, particularly news programs. But it's not the news he tunes in for, it's the pharmaceutical commercials. "I really like the drug commercials," he said, adding that he tries out each one of the medications.

"I don't have allergies but I take Nasonex because I love their commercial with that talking bee," said Packard, who also revealed that he started smoking a few months ago just so he could take Chantix to quit. "Do you want a squirt of Restasis and a Boniva?" Packard asked the reporter, who declined the offer. "You don't want dry eyes and osteoporosis do you? he asked. "Boniva really helped Sally Field."

Packard said he often starts his day with a smoothie made from Greek yogurt, Abilify, Cymbalta, and "a couple of Lyrica tablets," and later, he'll have a ham, cheese and Flomax sandwich. When asked if he thought taking dozens of medications could endanger his health, Packard rubbed the six Dermathol menopause patches stuck to his arm and replied, "I probably should ask my doctor if they're right for me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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