"I serve no spine before its time," declares presidential hopeful Mitt Romney in run-up to 2012 election night

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Sunday, 28 October 2012


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney held a rare news conference this morning to answer questions about the conduct and statements of his surrogates regarding President Obama and the issue of rape. He took the podium and smiled his trademark smile, the one that looks like he just did something silent and nasty in a crowded elevator. No questions were allowed.

Romney: "First of all let me say I am proud, yes proud, of our campaign and its surrogates. Every one of them says the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag every morning and prays with their family every night. They respect the rights of everyone that lives in their neighborhood, each and every one has a Jew for a friend and as far as the rights of women are concerned, they are devoted to it with every boner in their bodies!"

A reporter from Politico raised his hand which was immediately cut off at the wrist by a Romney staffer.

Romney: "First of all I have the finest staff ever assembled in the history of presidential campaigns, our spokesman have nothing to be ashamed of. John Sununu is a saint only surpassed by St. Francis of Assisi himself, Richard Mourdock believes in God as no other man I know and Todd Akin is busting his balls to win the Senate seat of that Slut in Missouri. These men are Kind, Kinder, and Kindest of anyone three men I know. Most of their female opponents are street walkers.

A reporter who was shielded by three colleagues called out: "Governor: these three men you mentioned have made the most despicable and obscene comments in the history of presidential campaigns. Are you saying you support their kind of racial and gender based obscenities?"

Romney: "That's a good question. Check with me around the Thanksgiving weekend. I'll be visiting my money in the Bahamas."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more