Written by El Presidente

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

As speculation mounts that Marco Rubio, the senator from Florida could be a possible running mate for Mitt Romney it has been revealed that Romney has compiled a list of requirements, he feels essential, for the role of Vice President.

Number one, the Vice President has to be female, which would it seem exclude Rubio, Romney has stated that women are important in his life, to the American people and to the world. Rubio though has been quick to point out that his mother was a woman and so are his sisters so therfore, he is technically 75% woman......?

Number two, the Vice President will also have to be Hispanic. This would include Rubio but obviously he does not fulfill the gender requirement. Romney has stated that Hispanics make up a vast portion of Americans, they are important in his life and to the world.

Thirdly, the VP would have to have some sort of African America heritage, not (according to Romney "fully like some of them but maybe like Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice or Halle Berry". Rubio would need to "tan up" to fit this role. He does live within a 3 minute drive of a spray tan salon.

Finally, any potential running mate would have to be gay; again Romney has stated that homosexuals, "love them or despise them with a passion, so much so you would watch them burn in hell, ahem, sorry", are still Americans and "anyway lesbians are fine." Rubio, as does a lesbian, finds women attractive, so this may fit.

Therefore the hunt is on for lesbian Hispanic who looks like she could be a little bit black.

Yep, thats Rubio then.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
55 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more