The Republican National Committee sent an urgent message to its large donors this morning offering "two Congressman for the price of one" for each donation over a million dollars. By mid-morning the committee had raised over four hundred thirty- five million dollars for the House of Representatives and one hundred million for the US Senate.
Reince Priebus, Chairman of the RNC, was asked about the fund raising at a crowded press conference this morning.
Reporter: "Mr. Chairman, isn't this rather unusual, you know, such blatant fund raising and the appearance of our government being for sale?"
Priebus: "No, not all. It's just citizens becoming united, you know, democracy in action!"
Reporter: "Any other plans for other branches of government?"
Priebus: "Of course! This has been a huge fracking success!"
Reporter: "What else?!"
Priebus: "You know, all the way down to city councils, state representatives and senators. We have a corporate special we will be announcing this week for state Supreme Court justices, two of those babies and you can do any damn thing you want!" He smiled.
A journalist from the New York Times called out angrily, "Not the national parks and protected wilderness?!"
Priebus: "Of course!"
Journalist: "You're going to frack Old Faithful?!"
Priebus: "Of course!"
Journalist: "Why?!"
Priebus: "Old Faithful has become boring."
Journalist: "Mount Rushmore?!"
Priebus: "Gone!"
Journalist: "What in God's name will replace it?!"
Priebus: "Mount Rush."
As several of the DC press corps started to leave the room, one stopped and called out: "Anything else?"
Priebus: "Of course. You don't stop when you are winning. The government of China and Wal-Mart have made a very attractive offer for Boardwalk and Park Place!"
The reporter from the NYT now obviously very angry and red of face shouted, "Is there anything that you won't sell?"
Priebus: "Of course!"
"WHAT," yelled the journalist.
Priebus grinned and replied, "Our right to remain silent!"
