Romney Exposed As A Polygamist

Funny story written by jessica w

Friday, 30 March 2012


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Though rumors have been flying around this week, no evidence of this has been provided until last night. Debbie and Macayla Romney have come forward after the here say linking these women to Mitt Romney. The women were chased from their homes by reporters resulting in their coming forward citing the hopefulness of privacy as the reason why.

"We drew straws and Ann got the short one. She was forced to act as [Mitt Romney's] only wife in the public eye," stated Macayla Romney. Debbie added, "Once our husband is President, polygamy will be made legal. Until then we were forced to live on the monthly stipend he sent us via Western Union." Together, the women have 16 children. None of which were able to comment.

Romney's camp held an immediate damage control session on Thursday evening as soon as word got out. The only statement released by his publicist was, "The Mormon religion is special and holy and doesn't have to adhere to the social norms of other people." Romney's next move is still unclear as there is no way to cover this up anymore.

The American public is mixed on this issue. Harry Morrison told the press, "All presidents cheat. At least he supports his extra women." Another American, Leslie Thonner, made a statement to the contrary, "This is an outrage. What ever happened to getting blown in the Oval Office and stopping there?" Other statements were made but these two seem to sum up the thoughts regarding Romney's multiple wives. Poils have not been tallied so no predictions as to the Republican nomination are being made.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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