MANHATTAN - Word filtering out of Trump Towers is that billionaire Donald Trump is finalizing plans to purchase New York City's world famous Central Park.
The 843-acre park which was built in 1857, served as a staging area during the Civil War for Federal troops (Yankees) who were heading south to attack the Confederate troops (Rebels)in the land known as Dixie, named after the drinking cups that were first manufactured in Mississippi.
Central Park is visited by an average of 35.1 million people each year and many make it a point to visit Cousin Vinnie's World Famous Hot Dog Stand, which arguably has the best hot dogs in the entire five New York City boroughs.
Cousin Vinnie's hot dogs have been eaten by such well known notables as Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Fidel Castro, Brett Favre, Cat Deeley, Bruno Tonioli, Angus T. Jones, Piper Palin, the entire 893-member Osmond Family, and most recently X-Factor cast-off Rachel Crow.
Ten-year-old Piper Palin upon eating three of Cousin Vinnie's Little Doggies reportedly commented to her mother Sarah "Snowflake" Palin that the hot dogs made her tummy smile with wondrous joy, unbridled delight, and ecstatic ecstasy.
Many members of PETA have expressed concern at what will become of the animals and birds who live in Central Park once the bulldozers, backhoes, front-end loaders, graders, cranes, and other heavy machinery come in and star leveling the place to make room for the new Super Duper Mall.
A spokesperson for Donald Trump, identified as Myron M. Myronowitz, stated that none of the animals or birds will be harmed and that every single squirrel, chipmunk, opossum, woodchuck, rhino, hawk, pigeon, flamingo, vulture, and hummingbird will be delicately trapped and transported over to Brooklyn's 585-acre Prospect Park where they will dwell, eat, and mate with their respective fellow animals and birds.
The Super Duper Mall will be built by the Biloxi, Mississippi based mall construction company Malls Be Us.