Suspect Arrested in Slaying of Nichole Brown Simpson

Funny story written by jd Balderdash

Thursday, 9 February 2006

image for Suspect Arrested in Slaying of Nichole Brown Simpson
OJ Simpson (under the lampshade) celebrating the News

CNN BREAKING -> OJ Simpson celebrated the arrest of a possible suspect in the 1994 slaying of Nichole Simpson and Ron Goldman by renting an East LA Radisson ballroom and dancing around in full Roman Toga gear until hotel security forced him and his party to disburse in the wee hours of the morning.

When asked why a Roman Toga party in celebration of potentially finding his wife's killer Simpson told reporters,

"Me and .. Nichole loved toga parties. I in fact MET Nichole at a toga party in Newark. That guy they caught's guilty right? He DID confess right?"

When asked why his Roman toga looked remarkably like a woman's slip Simpson replied,

"All I could come up with on such short notice. That .. that GUY they caught's guilty right? He DID confess right?"

Los Angeles police are still questioning the Tulsa cable repairman, Tyler Witherspoon, who they arrested during a Pizza Palladium robbery attempt. Arresting officer Lee Peterson told reporters,

"We had to shoot. We disabled the suspect, Witherspoon. During subsequent interrogation he described in detail 'matters' related to the 1994 Simpson murder case which we are not yet at liberty to discuss.

OJ Simpson, "technically" freed by the court system has always remained guilty in the mind of the public, CNN and God Himself simply because the defense that Simpson presented "did not jive .. did not compute". Even Simpson's lead attorney, Johnny Cochran did not believe that his client was innocent.

"Blood everywhere, even in Simpson's Foreman Grill" Cochran revealed in his upcoming post-mortem book, "OJ .. Yeah He Did It".

Only, according to LA police, OJ may NOT have done it IF their current suspect, Tyler Witherspoon turns out to be the REAL killer of Nichole Simpson and Ron Goldman. LA police are, however "concerned" about OJ Simpson's repeated calls to the station asking,

"That guy you caught's guilty right? He DID confess already to the murders right? It wasn't ME that night with the knife out in front of .. uh, I mean .. er .. you GOT the guy RIGHT? He's confessing RIGHT? Somebody talk to me for the .."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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