Written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 25 December 2010


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image for Secret Rex Ryan Video of Mark Sanchez Grabbing a Hotdog With His Feet Leaked
I'm gonna... I'm gonna... AAAAAHHHH!

TMZ has leaked a video, which reportedly came from the hacked laptop of Jets head coach Rex Ryan, which shows Jets QB Mark Sanchez grabbing a hot dog with his feet.

An Anthony Rosania production of an idea stolen from comedy factory John Tosar.

"Oh, sh-t, yeah," a voice on the tape --which Jets employees have confirmed is Coach Ryan-- is heard to say. "Oh, baby. My two favorite things; cured meat slurry and feet."

"Ok, ok..." the voice continues. "Grab the ketchup and mustard... No, not with your hand! OK, yeah Mark. Now the melted cheese... chili... chopped onion, yeah. Sweet pickles... Kettle chips... french fries... now the drawn butter... Ranch dressing... mayonnaise... cookie dough... crushed Oreos... taco meat... cake frosting... oh, God, more cheese. More ch... I'm gonna... I'm gonna... AAAAAHHHH! Oh, wow. Holy sh-t. NO, don't get any of that on the hot dog."

"On second thought... It's protein, right?"

"If it's my son, that is immoral and disgusting. No NFL coach should ever do such a thing," said former NFL head coach Buddy Ryan, Rex's father. "I mean, I did punch (Ryan's then-offensive coordinator) Kevin Gilbride in the face on national TV, and I did tell (Eagles Linebackers) Seth Joyner and Byron Evans to kill Cowboys placekicker Luis Zendejas and quarterback Troy Aikman, but hotdogs? Feet? Immoral. And Sanchez should be cut."

"Um, that ain't me," said Sanchez, who surprisingly renegotiated his Jets contract this week. Mark will earn his base salary and an amount coincidentially equal to 95% of Ryan's salary. There is also now a confidentiality clause in his contract. "F--k, I've got relish in my socks."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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