Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Friday, 22 April 2011

image for UKIP demands withdrawal from Eurovision Song Contest
Eurovision - why??

The leader of the UK Independence Party, Nifel Garage, has called for the UK to withdraw from the annual Eurovision Song Contest. He called the contest "a joke, a ridiculous waste of tax-payers' money, and a perfect example of how not to run an election".

Mr Garage normally focuses his political attacks on the bureaucracy in Brussels and the governance of the EU. But as the yearly song contest approaches, he has decided to make this a key campaign issue.

"In future," he promised, "UKIP will urge the United Kingdom to withdraw from Eurovision. Let's be honest, we have one of the largest music industries in the world, we don't need to be part of this embarrassing talent contest. It's not even a showcase for musical talent or even a real contest. It's a pan-European parade of unknown freaks singing bland unoriginal crap, followed by an excruciatingly undemocratic voting segment in which people vote for their neighbours or whoever they are dependent on for gas supplies that year. And we waste millions on this rubbish every year. And nobody votes for us any more."

It is thought that UKIP's new stance on Eurovision might be one of the few areas in which the party may find popularity.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Eurovision, UKIP

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