Ex-Diana butler Paul Burrell slams 'rollercoaster tragedy' royal wedding

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 16 April 2011

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Diana wanted her boys to marry aristocratic gals like her god daughters

London - Hurtling blindfold down the rabbit-hole is how former Princess of Wales butler Paul Burrell has described the upcoming nuptial circus.

"The curse of unfinished Diana RIP business is hexing the couple's big day," Burrell told weekend red tops.

"The Princess warned me years ago about potent karmic forces intervening," Burrell explained, "if some non-aristo slag bewitches Darling William into matrimony."

Apparently Diana desperately wanted 'her boys' to be happy and left carefully vetted names of favorite god-daughters who might be posh enough for Wills and Harry to tie the knot with.

"Although a commoner herself Diana at least had aristocratic blood," Burrell continued.

"She would have drawn the line at common-as-much social climbers worming their way into the lads' nuptials - maybe even dropped dead from embarrassment to have the Middletons as her in-laws!"

A source close to the Bucklebury couple denied they were grasping mercenaries out to make a killing on the coat tails of Kate's impending HRH status.

Meanwhile online bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.con has slashed the odds of the wedding being cancelled to 5/4FAV.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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