Defence Budget Hole

Funny story written by j.w.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011


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Unpaid Procurement

Defence Minister Liam Fox explained today that the holes in the Defence Budget due to incorrect procurements would be filled by an all night sitting in the House of Lords.

'For too long we have been paying too much for our procurements and some them have had to be scrapped before they were used. This has left the girls with inferiority complexes. This, in turn, cost us more in legal fees when the girls sued us for overlooking their potential.'

The Opposition, sensing another Government balls up, have had several motions, but they are not enough to fill the hole, even though the House of Lords had provided enough crap for at least two holes. 'The Government has been caught with its trousers down' declared a relieved Ed Miliband 'we will not allow the matter to rest. There is a strange smell in Parliament and it is not pleasant. This is what comes of paying for procurements when you have nothing in your pockets but promises from Bankers.'

A crisis of confidence is shaking the Government and the LibDems are being openly blamed by Tory backbenchers. 'Everything was going well with procurements, then we had these liberals who didn't give a shit to fill the defense holes' complained Sir Anthony Lewd - known to his constituents as 'that crap MP'.

A new policy on hole procurement is being drawn up by senior officials at the Ministry of Trial and Error.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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