Thatcher & her Crystal Ball

Funny story written by Sidney Bollocks

Saturday, 20 November 2010

image for Thatcher & her Crystal Ball
Crystal ball, or blue-tinted specs?

Ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has been thrust back into the news headlines this week, as Europe's financial woes continue.

To some of the Thatcher-loving broadsheets, her 1993 autobiography reads like a prophecy of the current financial turmoil engulfing Europe. Documents from 20 years ago or more reveal her thoughts about a single currency. She believed the 'Euro' would devastate national economies and lead to a major financial and banking crisis.

Some say Thatcher must have had a crystal ball. How did she cling to this belief with such clarity and conviction, when her government, the opposition, the unions and financial institutions believed Britain would die outside of a single currency? Of course, she had her trusty crystal ball.

But one must stop and think. If she had a crystal ball, why did it fail her so often? Why did it not tell her that the General Belgrano was, in fact, outside of the Falklands exclusion zone? Why did it not tell her that her policies would bring the NHS, state schools, public transport and other public sector services to their knees? Why did it not tell her that she would simply make the rich richer and the poor poorer, creating the greatest social divide the nation has ever seen? Why did it not tell her people would riot before they paid the poll tax? Why did it not tell her to watch her back in 1990?

Perhaps Gordon Brown inherited the same crystal ball when he was Chancellor of the Exchequer. Why did it not tell him where Britain's finances were headed, even though we were not in the Eurozone?

And finally, why did Thatcher's crystal ball not warn her she had Alzheimer's Disease to look forward to? Maybe, it just plain forgot.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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