Written by Deafo

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

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Convicted prisoners throughout the UK will get the right to vote on the outcome of this year's X Factor, the government is expected to announce later this week.

The European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) raised eye brows when it ruled in favour of UK inmates, but stressed the ruling only applied to those intending to vote for Wagner.

The government has been advised to allow prisoners of a Wagner persuasion access to a phone during the broadcast to ensure they can register their support, or face further recriminations.

There is concern amongst prison management that those who had no previous interest in the show would now demand the right to vote, and could skew the voting figure's in favour of the depressingly hirsute sex pest.

'It's of a real concern to us that prisoners may just be calling up willy-nilly with no real knowledge on the man they are voting for. Wagner, in our opinion, has more chance of ending up HM Belmarsh, than winning X Factor,' said William Finch of the Prison services.

Simon Cowell said he was impressed with the campaign conducted by prisoners across the land, particularly Graham Tucker, who worked tirelessly to ensure the matter was brought before the courts.

'This just goes to show the impact that villainous murderers can have on society' Cowell said of Wagner. 'Graham Tucker? Yeah, he's a good egg.'

Number 10 were unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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