Written by Nick Hobbs

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Crazy Cats: Move Over Paul, There's An Octopussy In Town
Neil The Ocelot, predicting that your hand will bleed if you attempt to stroke him.

News has already circulated about the death of Paul The Octopus, nobody could have predicted the widespread grief felt accross the globe, for an octopus.

Truly the Peoples Octopus, Paul meant so much to so many. Often to be seen doing charity work, a passion of his in his later years, or climbing on boxes in his tank.

But with Pauls untimely passing, comes news of a new kid on the block. With his slimline, svelt features, and cat like instincts, enter Neil The Ocelot.

Neil has been a major player on the mediumistic scene for a number of years, often performing stage shows to packed houses, where he was seemingly able to communicate with peoples loved ones, who had long since passed on.

With his distinctive growls and purrs, Neil holds his crowd in absolute awe. He has already proved himself on the prediction front, too. He successfully predicted the Indonesian Tsunami recently, and more importantly, he also correctly picked each of the contestants who made it to the live finals of The X-Factor, by simply biting a photograph of the face of each of the winners.

He is due to predict the eventual overall winner next week, by peeing around a cardboard cut-out of the victor, and thereby marking his territory.

Whether Neil The Ocelot will become the Peoples Cat, will remain to be seen, but one thing is assured, even the most hardened of critic couldn't have predicted Pauls success, so who truly knows where Neils star will land?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
43 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more