Deaf, dumb and blind kid is hopeless at pinball

Written by Bill Licks

Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for Deaf, dumb and blind kid is hopeless at pinball
He's a pinball wee-zard

A 12 year old boy from Romford who is deaf, dumb and blind came a disappointing last in the annual Essex under 18's ParaPinball Championship.

Robert Dultry entered the competition hoping to emulate the achievements of the character from the rock opera film Tommy, but within seconds of starting his first game it became apparent he was totally useless on the pinball table.

'His performance was a bit of an embarrassment' said his angry mother. 'He may not be able to hear, see or speak but all he had to do was press a couple of buttons to activate some flippers so I was hoping he might have hit the ball at least once.'

'He was beaten by a 10 year old girl with no hands for fucks sake. Even a boy who is paralysed from the neck down managed to score more points and he had to finish his game early when his catheter started to leak all over the floor.'

The competition was eventually won by a 15 year old midget who managed to play a game that lasted over 20 minutes.

'I couldn't even see the table' said the jubilant dwarf 'and I could only reach the left flipper because my arms are too short to reach both.'

'I guess luck was on my side today' added the Leprechaun sized lad.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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