Poor mum of thirteen wee bairns can see the breadline

Funny story written by matthatt

Saturday, 9 October 2010

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A mother of 13 wee darlings who spent £1,700 of her benefits on a 60in plasma TV claimed last night that plans to cap payments to benefit claimants would leave her family "on the breadline".

Whinging old bag, as some have unkindly called Tootsy McPlopchops, 52, lives with unemployed partner Donut Chuffington-Catweezel III, 27, and twenty two of their 13 children in a large detached house - all paid for by the taxpayer.

Their benefits-funded income totals £38,324 a year but Miss McPlopchops last night branded Chancellor George Osborne's move to limit handouts to £26,000 a year as "completely out of order".

She said: "I won't be able to pay for my facial reconstruction surgery that I need once a week because of falling over due to being a complete fuckwit and getting twatted on Cherry-B and Babycham, drunk from a hollowed out Faberge egg, and those swan stuffed with lobster dinners from Harrods don't grow on trees you know, wankers!"

The delightful couple can still afford little luxuries like the giant telly and swimming pool, thankfully, so their lives aren't completely ruined just yet

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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