MI6 is desperate to keep the true facts about the death of secret agent Gareth Williams from the public. They fear a backlash could come from the unpleasant truth.
However, your intrepid reporter risking everything in the interests of humanity, can reveal the answers!
Gareth was driving along a Highway going around London, which cannot be named for security reasons, when he opened his window and threw a cat into the road. It was crunched into mincemeat by the cars following.
Unfortunately for Gareth the chief of the Feline Fellowship was driving behind Gareth and witnessed this foul deed. Gareth, unknown to himself, was followed back to his flat by the irate cat lover.
Just as Gareth was about to open his door the friend of all Pussies everywhere, tapped the Welsh secret agent on the back. 'I have witnessed your foul act of throwing your cat from your car.'
Gareth, not wanting to draw attention to himself, asked his visitor into the flat so he could explain the situation.
'Yes, I admit I threw the cat from my car. It was getting on my nerves with it's constant mewling.'
The name and sex of the Feline's friend cannot be revealed. I can only say that this once attractive blonde bombshell with the assumed name BB was the love of my youthful cinematic experience.
BB disposed of Agent GW then put him in a bag and left him in his bath. After examining his credit cards so that a large sum could be transfered to a secret Feline Fellowship account, BB left the flat and returned to lift the lid on other acts of cat cruelty that might occur.
The Home Office's most reliable forensic pathogist who covers this type of case was otherwise engaged today. Leaving no option but to find out the true cause of death.
MI6 know this revelation will result in many agents leaving their spying roles in disgust at the cruely of a fellow agent. But they fear most the wrath of an incensed British public shocked at the depths secret agents can descend to.
