The United Kingdom was slowly shutting down as the day progressed, with people citing 'can't be arsed' as a major factor, as the shut down gathered momentum around about tea time.
The first signs of a total shutdown emerged this morning as postmen, milkmen and paper lads realised that what they were doing isn't really all that important in the greater scheme of things. Postman Jed Mallet from Taunton in Somerset told us:
"I was up bright and early, went in as usual, but the weather was a bit shit for August, so once I'd started out on me rounds, I just had this overwhelming feeling of not being arsed. So I dumped me postbag in a wheelie bin and went home for a nice cup of hot chocolate and a sleep."
As the day progressed, the malaise spread throughout the population, with transport workers, traffic wardens, and even NHS staff just packing up and going home for a sleep. One nurse told us:
"I can never seem to be able to get enough sleep, so I thought, I can't be arsed with all this any more. I mean, all those people who roll into A&E - they ought to be more careful. If people looked what they were doing, we wouldn't need A&E wards."
Even the police got in on the act. PC Bernard Langstaff of the West Midlands Police told us:
"I haven't caught a proper criminal for months, just traffic offenders. All of a sudden, I felt that I just couldn't be arsed any more. So I drove the car home and made a cup of tea. Then I dozed off for an hour watching Louis Theroux interviewing some American wrestlers on the internet."
As the 'can't be arsed' mentality took hold, pubs, restaurants, fast food joints, airports and TV channels continue to grind to a halt, leading some observers to wonder where it's all going to end.
"I can't help wondering where it's all going to end," one observer told us.
Another observer blamed Stephen Hawking for pointing out the futility of existence in his book, 'The Futility Of Existence.'
The malaise looks set to spread in coming days and weeks.
More as we get it. If we can be arsed.
