In a radical move Justice Minister, Ken Clarke, is introducing a new Drug Rehab scheme in order to get down the numbers of drug addicts in prison.
He is setting up sessions at Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club with guest vocalist Amy Winehouse. 'She's great vocalist, in the tradition of Bessie Smith and Billie Holiday and is sure to be a huge success' Ken said.
Amy couldn't be happier. Of Ken Clarke she remarked: 'Pops is the Tops. He's a groovy man and knows his jazz. He is one crazy cat!'
Amy is working on the famous song 'Cocaine Habit Blues' and is learning the words of 'Dope Head Blues'.
There is something of an army of jazz musicians on hand ready for the Drug Rehab Gig. A number of favourite tunes are bound to come up: 'Reefer Man' and 'Sweet Marijuana Brown' are a couple of favourites.
'Louis Armstrong smoked weed most of his life and it didn't do him much harm' Ken remarked to an astonished Cabinet meeting. 'I'm not suggesting making pot legal, man' he whispered in David Cameron's ear 'but just getting the whole thing in perspective.'
Rumblings thought to be from the Tory Right were heard. However, the tension lifted when it was realised that the rumblings were Vince Cable and Nick Clegg practising drum solos.
Jools Holland and Jamie Cullum are lined up as piano support for Amy and jazz musicians, long thought to be dead, have been resurrected for the event.
Ken Clarke, in jubilant mood declared: 'People will think I'm viper mad, but I'm mellow. Come and join our Tea Party.'
