Wife Beater Vest Sales up 10,000% Ahead of UK Budget

Funny story written by T John Cunningham

Friday, 18 June 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Wife Beater Vest Sales up 10,000% Ahead of UK Budget
Osbourne in rehearsals yesterday.

Anticipation and speculation surrounding June 22nd's Budget from George Osbourne, has sparked a rise in sales in the classic 'couch wear' garment, the Wife Beater Vest.

A poll by Mori has revealed that an unprecedented number of working men aged between 18 and 45 have, or by the weekend, will have bought a WBV.

At a queue outside Primark, one man man was heard to say, "What's the fucking point of going to work? After the budget,when Osbourne's weilded his axe, I may as well stay at home, catch a bit of Trisha, surf the internet for porn, watch football and knock seven colours of shit out of the wife. The cat should expect a kicking as well."

Sales in other products have also seen a sharp rise. A spokesman for B&Q said, "Knife/bucket sets are flying of the shelves as people across the country contemplate suicide. We're working hard to keep the shelves stocked. It's the least we could do."

Tescos have also reported a rush on Paracetamol and bleach." said Pete Misery, Sales Manager, "The demand is extremely high, so we've had to limit sales of Paracetamol to 1000 per customer. Stocks of bleach have run dry, so we've seen a swing to BBQ fluid, but we're confident we can keep up with demand."

In response a Government spokesman said "Fuck 'em."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more