Derrick Bird Was Involved in Taxi Investigation

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 4 June 2010

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Gunman Derrick Bird, who slaughtered 12 people in a Cumbrian shooting spree was embroiled in a major investigation into an undeclared £60,000 taxi and was facing serious financial difficulties, a friend has said.

The friend said today that he did not know from where Mr Bird had acquired the luxury £60,000 taxi, but it was "a belter".

He said that, once the authorities found out, Mr Bird became afraid of going to prison, and may have decided to 'go out in a blaze of gory'.

Mr Bird was 52 until the massacre on Wednesday.

Mr Bird's other taxi is a Toyota Corolla.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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