Derrick Bird - Cumbrian Gun Rampage Sparks Media Mess

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

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Inside The Mind Of A TV Reporter.

Live report - Following another murderous gun rampage conducted by a gunman in Cumbria this lunchtime, which left so far 12 confirmed dead and 25 wounded, media coverage of the event is bound to prompt some hard questions.

Our sources say that Derrick Bird was found dead in woodland, close to the nearby village of Boot, which has been confirmed, but people are seriously bringing into question the validity of many news reports.

Particularly from the rolling news TV channels.

Initial speculation, widely circulated, was that Bird had killed his mother, which transpired to be untrue. Although it does kind of dovetail rather splendidly with the Michael Ryan case.

TV news channels wheeled out a circus of "experts" for comment, even though they didn't know very much about what was actually happening.

Sad for Skoob News as a reliable news source to have to report that the TV anchor folks appeared to give the impression that they were hoping for the body count to rise, and that they only seemed interested in ratings grabbing by attempting to find out as many gory details as possible.

Intercut with pictures of victims covered by blankets as they awaited forensic examination.

Bad enough that a nutter decides to go on a random killing spree, shameful that the news media would be subtlely cheering the perpetrator on as we speak had he not turned the gun on himself.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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