The inaugural car boot sale held in the grounds of Saint Juste The Same school in Frigghall On Sea turned out to be not quite the money spinning cash cow the organisers had hoped for.
Mayor Sully Birdkrapp expressed his disappointment that only nineteen cars, a burger van and a bouncy castle had shown up, blaming local by-laws which stipulate that any such event must be staged between four and nine am.
"It was just too early," Mayor Birdkrapp explained. "But we couldn't really do anything about it because of the by-laws. Most people were still in bed by the time the vendors were packing up, and those that did come were disappointed. Even though we had northern comedy duo Cannon And Ball cut the ribbon. We haven't given up on the idea yet, but we appreciate that changes need to made."
Potential customer, Jason Wrist, from nearby Twattington On The Bog, who drove the five miles to the car boot sale with his civil partner Graham, was very disappointed by what he found. He told us:
"It was rubbish. Graham and I got up at two thirty so we'd be the first here. We were hoping to pick up some rare objets d'art, perhaps a nice throw rug, or a pair of matching silk kimonos, but there was nothing like that on sale. It was just broken tape recorders, old VHS tapes, boxes of coathangers, cracked plates, and old tools, like hammers and saws. And some knock-off DVDs. It was only the burger van that made the trip worthwhile. It was nice meeting Cannon And Ball but to be honest, they're a bit passe."
Burger van proprietor and kebab shop entrepreneur Ali Bullo told us:
"It was big wash out. Me no come again. Me sell only six burgers, two of them, egg burgers, to gay bloke looking for silk kimono. What that all about? Me no come back. Selling six burgers is no bladdy good. No even pay for petrol. Car boot sale my arse. I have shit the car boot sales."
Stallholder Mike Melody, a dealer on Dickinson's Real Deal, ITV's cheapskate alternative to the Antiques Roadshow was a little more upbeat, telling our reporter that he'd certainly come back again, adding:
"Not a bad day's graft that. I shifted a Chucky doll off the Child's Play video nasties for forty four quid. I was made up getting rid of that. It gave me the creeps anyway."
Mayor Birdkrapp is keeping his fingers crossed that Frigghall On Sea's next planned civic extravaganza, a mass guided tour of the mud flats, will prove more popular.
More as we get it.