A contract to "Nobble" cheeky chappy, chat show host, Jonathan Ross, didn't quite go to plan last Friday night as millions of viewers watched zany comedian Ross Noble attack the bemused presenter during his weekly show.
The contract is believed to have been put out by veteran Fawlty Towers actor, Andrew Sachs, who is still angry about the now infamous answerphone message left by the TV presenter. It's thought that the mix up occurred, ironically, because of another answerphone message - this time left by Sachs....on the wrong machine.
A police spokesman confirmed that they were investigating the attack on Ross and said, "it appears that a message left by a man with a very strong spanish accent saying, and I quote, "Ross musta be nobbled - gooda anna proper - dees a Friday", was left on the answerphone of Mr Sachs' theatrical Agent, Brian "the biller" Dugby. It may be that the message was meant for Mr Sachs' green grocer, and local hitman, Brian "the killer" Digby but we can't speculate at this point in time".
Wacky comedian, Ross Noble, said, "I thought it was weird like. Me agent phoned us up and told us I wuz on Wossy's show and he's asked me to duff 'im up a bit. I dint know I was supposed to kill 'im like".
Mr Sachs has denied any involvement and, in a press conference announced, "I know nurthing..
Police are appealing to witnesses....
