UK Census 2011 Hits Internet

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 21 May 2010

image for UK Census 2011 Hits Internet
Hellenic Reconstructionists up in arms at insufficient space

Every ten years, the UK does a Census of it's population, with the next one due in 2011. Already Farcebook groups are springing up to derail the process.

In the previous Census, there was a move towards having Jedi installed as a recognised religion with the mistaken belief that enough people put Jedi in the space for Other Religion, then this would make it recognised. That particular ruse failed as there were insufficient people taking it up.

Enter the age of the Social Network, and suddenly a lot more people are aware and interested.

Once again, Jedi is being put forward in an attempt to get it recognised, but also coming forward are the Hellenic Reconstructionists, who wish to restore the old Greek pantheon to their right and proper place, whilst the Pastafarians want to put their own anti-god message on a nationally recognised footing. Though Pastafarianism has a cult following among Evolutionary Biologists, with it's non-belief in the Great Spaghetti God, the Hellenic Reconstructionists are going to struggle, as there is only space for religions with thirty characters in their name, prompting the very real Reformed Church of the Unified Beliefs of Christianity, Judaism and Islam to complain bitterly.

As well as religion, other areas of the census are to be trifled with, including Ethnic Origin. Instead of the standard White-British, Black-British, some are already setting up groups on Farcebook to have Martian Illegal Alien as a recognised ethnic group, as well as Thetan, the aliens from the already recognised religion Scientology.

The most controversial of the Census questions to have a Farcebook group set up about it, is Martial Status, under which some members want to put Polygamous or Serial Monogamist. There is even a group for those that wish Celibacy to be a recognised Martial Status distinct from Single.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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