Justice: Pikey Camp Tarmaced By Local Council

Written by Nick Hobbs

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

image for Justice: Pikey Camp Tarmaced By Local Council
Fergal O'Sharkey, pikey King of Wiltshire

There was uproar in south west England this week when a local travellers camp was mysteriously tarmaced by passing council workers.

The pikey camp was at ease in the early hours of Monday morning when the council struck. The team of eight workers moved heavy equipment in to place at approximately 6:30am and began tarmacing the drives shortly thereafter.

Fergal O'Sharkey, pikey king of the Wiltshire division told us "it's abhorrent to tink dese people can just turn up and do dese tings to hard stealing families like us, t'be sure!"

"The council have put in a bill to us dat really don't match the quality of work dat was carried out here," he continued in a faux Irish accent.

Gene Baggington, council representative, had this to say "we took measures to ensure the work was carried out to the lowest possible standards at the highest possible price. It's the way that sort like to do business, we're just continuing the tradition."

When we asked why the work was carried out when it wasn't even asked for, Mr Baggington told us "that's the way we roll, baby!"

The tarmac used for the job was council owned, it was stolen from a pikey camp who had stolen it from a council lorry in Leicester.

Plans to partially badly re-facia the older pikey's caravans, at double the cost of a small mansion, are to commence next weekend, unbeknownst to the 'customers'.

More as we'd like it to be....t'be sure, so I would!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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