And they're off.....to the races that is! Nope. We're not talking about multiple champion jockey Tony McCoy whose drought finally ended with a thundering charge on favorite Don't Push It. We're talking about England's very own 3 stooges - one of whom will soon become the Chief Court Jester. Gordon, Nick and David, er, Dave.
So while the rest of you natives worry about the economy, housing prices, soaring taxes, crappy food, bad sex and dishwater lager, here's the latest update on the Gruesome Threesome:
Nick Clegg, who's anointed himself kingmaker in the event of a "hung" [as opposed to a well-hung] Parliament made the following profound observation when quizzed on his views on immigration:
"Parts of England are very, very overcrowded...and parts are not"
I say, who'd have thought that?
Meanwhile, everybody's pal David (Dave) Cameron when asked about life & marriage gushed about his SamCam:
"I'm so lucky to have met someone who makes me incredibly happy"
Well good for you Dave but what does that have to do with England's impoverished, miserable, unhappy minions?
Not content to be pushed aside grumpy Gordon Brown whinged:
"I realise I am not slick and the honest truth is I don't really want to be."
Memo to Gordie ....we could have told you that.
Next week - the secret weapons: Miriam, Sam and Sarah