Written by Simon Cole

Thursday, 8 April 2010

image for Today's Sarah Montague to star in new production of My Fair Lady
Cat outside Broadacstimng Huuse

Andrew Lloyd Webber is to mount a new production of My Fair Lady after listening to the Today programme.

His spokesman said that he was half asleep listening to the Radio Four programme when Ms. Montague used the word 'now' three times in one sentence.

'It rhymed with miaow, and Lord Lloyd Webber thought Cats,' said a spokesman, before continuing, 'His Lordship is a lateral thinker, and listening on, he decided she would make a perfect Eliza Doolittle.'

The BBC had no comment to make, other than to say that Sarah Montague is a valued member of the team, and they had no issues with her.

A spokesman has said that she will be having voice coaching.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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