Skating On Thin Ice Star Heather Mills Sparks Airport Terror Alert

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Skating On Thin Ice Star Heather Mills Sparks Airport Terror Alert
Heather's leg transplant rumors remain uncorroborated

Heathrow - (Legpulling Mess): Frantic security staff were forced to back down when the ex-Beatle wife rolled up her trouser leg in a carefully-crafted Masonic manuever.

Mills, 69, had accidentally set off a high tech alarm necessitating the removal of her prosthetic limb at the Terminal 5 security check-in.

But the superbly choreographed trouser leg gesture was instantly recognised by airport bosses who smiled benignly at the peroxide vegan.

She was then hurredly ushered into a VIP lounge and showered with duty free giveaways to make up for the embarrassment of the stop-and-search fiasco.

Speaking from her LA condo this afternoon a Mills assistant was bullish Heather had not been given any special treatment.

"Airport staff knew they didn't have a leg to stand on," Maisie Clutterbuck explained.

Rumors that the ex-Mrs McCartney has had a successful transplant over two years ago are completely uncorroborated.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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