Top fashion designer Alexander McQueen loaned cute little dimple-cheeked moron Cheryl Cole's hair extensions the day before his suicide by hanging, it was revealed today.
Cheryl, famous for being thin, is the new face of L'Oreal hair colouring, where she flicks her hair extensions around and pretends that her full head of hair is down to her clever choice of shampoo and not the fact that she has someone else's hair woven tightly onto her head with fishing line.
Cheryl, whose talents include sitting next to Simon Cowell whilst simultaneously crying, was today unavailable for comment due to her lip-sync machine malfunctioning.
A spokesman for Alexander McQueen stated that Cheryl's hair extensions had been recovered from Mr McQueens flat and taken away in an evidence bag by an RSPCA dog handler with an electric stick.
Reports that Mr McQueen's suicide note read, "Because I'm not worth it" are unsubstantiated.
